Embracing your Brain (and all the shit that comes with it) | Recognizing Depression & Anxiety

Death is going to happen in your life. You need to understand that first, no matter what happens, there will be a point in time where you will lose a loved one. That's life.  I'm not an expert in death or grieving, however, I've learned a lot this past year from my mom's death. Some of the things I've learned and experienced will be helpful for someone experiencing similar losses.  First thing 1st, let yourself cry, scream, feel numb - whatever you need. LET IT OUT.  2. The stages of grief, do not happen in order. It's a cycle.     -   Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance - This is a key point. My therapist educated me on the 5 stages of grief and how they were initially made for those dying, not the living. Yet, as a society we've adjusted this list to fit our needs. The 5 steps of grief is a cycle and rollar coaster ride. You do not need to experience denial first, then anger, then bargaining. You can experience denial...

Ask yourself this, "do you ever get upset over something so little that you immediately started crying because you were so overwhelmed with life?" If you answered "yes," then you and I are in the same boat.  Last week I was so irritated. The dishes were dirty, I was late for work, I had multiple homework assignments due, and everything kept piling up - I felt as if I couldn't catch up. I asked my boyfriend to do something while I was at work, he was playing his video game, and I became frustrated because he wasn't listening to me or didn't say the answer I wanted. He became defensive and when he did, I broke down crying. I allowed myself to become vulnerable, sit down next to him, and cry. I told him that I was just so overwhelmed because I felt as if I was never home, I had so much to do, and I couldn't keep up. That was my moment to just break down and cry. That is what I needed. Thinking back to that moment, yeah I was very frustrated and took i...

So, one of my guilty pleasures are strawberry pop-tarts and really fancy/sophisticated planners. The planner I bought for this upcoming school year has sections dedicated to how my day will go,  hour by hour, and the various notes/to-do's I need to complete. The top of each page is an inspirational quote and towards the bottom is an empty box labeled "today's gratitude." To be 100% honest, this was my biggest reason to buy this planner - I wanted to identify more reasons why I'm grateful.  Today my gratitude was "learning opportunities through my master's program." I participated in a training at Project Harmony called, Youth Mental Health First Aid. Similar to regular first aid classes, yet this one was focused on youth, their mental health disorders, and our roles to intervene during a crisis. I learned how impactful my role as a behavioral health technician can be. I have the opportunity to help youth in a crisis, identify safe resources, and...

Normally, I would be very excited to celebrate my birthday. This year, I'm not. Everyone in my family kept asking, "what do you want to do for your birthday?" and "what do you want for your birthday?" I would simply reply, "I don't know," and "nothing." The only thing I wanted for my birthday this year was my mom - but, that's not going to happen.  Thus, I didn't plan anything to celebrate, I just let other people do it for me. It wasn't until I went to my therapist where I discussed this with her. Honestly, therapy sucks, it brings me back to reality and I hate it (al though it proves that I'm overthinking majority of the time , I'm really thankful for it). We talked about how my mom is still with me, she would want me to celebrate with my family and friends and as much as it sucks she's not here, she's with me everyday.  Note*  It's easier to say that than to actually believe it.  I know she is wi...

It's been about 2 weeks since we repotted our garden and boy, has it grown. All of our veggies are looking healthy and good, getting watered at least every two days, or one based on how hot it has been. I'm so proud of our cucumbers and tomato plants, we started them from seeds and they've gotten so big! When we got the soil and cages for our garden, I thought the cages were unnecessary, but they've helped our plants grow! Some cayenne peppers are ready to be picked and some are flowering, so that means more veggies soon😁! Take a look & watch my video  Update on the garden - p.s. the video shows a beautiful sunset and I'm so thankful I was able to catch it tonight. Here are some closeups, check em out.

My Garden Before reading, take a look at the video I linked. ↑ Last summer, my boyfriend and I started our own garden and this summer, we made it our goal to do another. Except, this year we started majority of our plants from seeds. Unfortunately, many of the seedlings died - we probably overwatered, or just killed them because of the lack of attention and limited proper growing conditions needed.  Out of 72 seed pods, only 1 tomato, 3 cucumbers, and 2 jalapeños made it. We had to go out and buy some more plants, including ghost peppers, bell peppers, and cow horn peppers. This week, we finally replanted them in their pots. Granted, I completely noticed the sense of control I was placing on the importance of starting this project (and the nagging I expressed to my boyfriend), but it feels so reassuring to know our garden is done and ready to be left alone. Nonetheless, our veggies are growing like crazy and him and I are definitely trying to not neglect...

This week has been busy, filled with work and making sure I'm prepared for my final days at my practicum. My job is not easy. I work as a behavioral health technician, meaning I teach deviant adolescents and teenagers proper social skills and how to manage their emotions. I love my job, but it is not easy. The things I witness and get called, many individuals would not last. My skin has gotten tough and it'll probably get tougher as I continue working there. Nonetheless, the minimal good moments outweigh the bad. These kids I work with have been exposed to trauma, abuse, and neglect - someone needs to provide support and reassurance when things go south.  Like I said, work has been so stressful. On Saturday, I worked from 7:00am to 11:00pm, that's 17 hours, with two 30 minute breaks. When I went on my second break of the day, I was emotionally drained. I needed something to eleviate the negativity within my head, so I listened to my favorite music playlist on Spotify. ...