Tips on how to deal with Grief

Death is going to happen in your life. You need to understand that first, no matter what happens, there will be a point in time where you will lose a loved one. That's life. 

I'm not an expert in death or grieving, however, I've learned a lot this past year from my mom's death. Some of the things I've learned and experienced will be helpful for someone experiencing similar losses. 

First thing 1st, let yourself cry, scream, feel numb - whatever you need. LET IT OUT. 

2. The stages of grief, do not happen in order. It's a cycle. 
   -   Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance - This is a key point. My therapist educated me on the 5 stages of grief and how they were initially made for those dying, not the living. Yet, as a society we've adjusted this list to fit our needs. The 5 steps of grief is a cycle and rollar coaster ride. You do not need to experience denial first, then anger, then bargaining. You can experience denial, then bargaining, and go back to denial, and go straight to depression. It's a process, with no limitations or expectations, it just happens. - 

3. Talk about your loved one. 
      - As much as it may suck, talk about them. Talking will encourage healthy coping strategies and help you identify some memories you may have forgotten. Talking about your loved one helps you to still celebrate that person and acknowledge they are still with you. - 

4. Write memories down. 
   - Years down the road, or when you're having a bad day, this will help you to get through it. - 

5. Take it minute by minute. 
    - When people ask you, "how are you doing," try not to yell and scream at them for asking such a ridiculous question. Respond in the moment with however you're feeling. - 

6.  It's okay to be happy. 
    - Even though your loved one isn't here, you can be happy. Emotions are normal and they want you to be happy. Guilt is a shitty emotion, but your loved one is not upset with you for enjoying that bowl of ice cream or laughing with family. You can be happy. - 



p.s. Check out this https://www.chroniclebooks.com/titles/angel-catcher-revised-edition.html - it's a book Angel Catcher  dedicated to writing things down to help you remember your loved one. 

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