Youth Mental Health First Aid
So, one of my guilty pleasures are strawberry pop-tarts and really fancy/sophisticated planners. The planner I bought for this upcoming school year has sections dedicated to how my day will go, hour by hour, and the various notes/to-do's I need to complete. The top of each page is an inspirational quote and towards the bottom is an empty box labeled "today's gratitude." To be 100% honest, this was my biggest reason to buy this planner - I wanted to identify more reasons why I'm grateful.
Today my gratitude was "learning opportunities through my master's program." I participated in a training at Project Harmony called, Youth Mental Health First Aid. Similar to regular first aid classes, yet this one was focused on youth, their mental health disorders, and our roles to intervene during a crisis. I learned how impactful my role as a behavioral health technician can be. I have the opportunity to help youth in a crisis, identify safe resources, and ways to overcome their challenges.
Some point during the early morning, we were discussing age of onset for anxiety disorders and within seconds I felt a pressure on my heart. I began to think about my mom and I just got hit with a grief burst. I felt weight on my chest and my heart physically ached. In that moment, I really missed my mom. I wish she was here so I could hear her voice, touch her shoulder, and feel her arms wrapped around my torso. It left me thinking how much she had done for my siblings and I, she gave everything she had for us. I'm beginning to notice I'm thinking "if only I could have done this...said this..she would still be here." I can't do that. That won't change anything, those thoughts only bring guilt. But god, DOES THIS SUCK.
Focusing back to what I needed to do in the moment, I redirected my thoughts and focused on the activity at hand and my role in that position. The end of the training left me a little unsettled. We were discussing suicide and as someone who has attempted, this wasn't easy to talk about, let alone distance myself from the content. The challenge was this, if you had not asked someone "are you thinking of killing yourself" you needed to ask your partner at the table. I've never asked this and I was not prepared for this kind of confrontation. When I asked it, it was awkward and I was uncomfortable. When my partner asked me, I began to notice my throat closing and eyes begin to swell. I haven't felt suicidal in a while and I don't feel it now, but it's still such a sensitive/important topic that needs to be confronted. Why is it that I felt uncomfortable, it was probably due to not knowing what to do. But, now I know.
It's trainings like this that leave an impact on my graduate experience. I'm so thankful to have been given this opportunity to become more educated and involved within my field.
Also, I had class this evening and of course, the topic was clinical work with individuals. I was happy to see my classmates and catch up with them. It's leaving me hopeful for a good semester and more opportunities to spend time with people that have similar goals and genuinely want the best for me.
ALSO, after learning what protective factors I bring to my role as a behavioral health technician, such as: listener, support, monitoring, consistent schedule - I'm doing pretty well with my goals are becoming more confident within my job. Regarding my self-care, I became aware of how many good things I'm doing that keep me in the direction that I want to go in. Including, drinking water, sleeping 8 hours, going to the pool, taking baths, listening to music, writing this blog, thinking of my mom's love for me, treating myself to coffee every now and then, spending time with family and friends, and letting myself just sit down.
Today was a lot and tomorrow will probably be even more. But, I'll handle it one minute at a time.
Today my gratitude was "learning opportunities through my master's program." I participated in a training at Project Harmony called, Youth Mental Health First Aid. Similar to regular first aid classes, yet this one was focused on youth, their mental health disorders, and our roles to intervene during a crisis. I learned how impactful my role as a behavioral health technician can be. I have the opportunity to help youth in a crisis, identify safe resources, and ways to overcome their challenges.
Some point during the early morning, we were discussing age of onset for anxiety disorders and within seconds I felt a pressure on my heart. I began to think about my mom and I just got hit with a grief burst. I felt weight on my chest and my heart physically ached. In that moment, I really missed my mom. I wish she was here so I could hear her voice, touch her shoulder, and feel her arms wrapped around my torso. It left me thinking how much she had done for my siblings and I, she gave everything she had for us. I'm beginning to notice I'm thinking "if only I could have done this...said this..she would still be here." I can't do that. That won't change anything, those thoughts only bring guilt. But god, DOES THIS SUCK.
Focusing back to what I needed to do in the moment, I redirected my thoughts and focused on the activity at hand and my role in that position. The end of the training left me a little unsettled. We were discussing suicide and as someone who has attempted, this wasn't easy to talk about, let alone distance myself from the content. The challenge was this, if you had not asked someone "are you thinking of killing yourself" you needed to ask your partner at the table. I've never asked this and I was not prepared for this kind of confrontation. When I asked it, it was awkward and I was uncomfortable. When my partner asked me, I began to notice my throat closing and eyes begin to swell. I haven't felt suicidal in a while and I don't feel it now, but it's still such a sensitive/important topic that needs to be confronted. Why is it that I felt uncomfortable, it was probably due to not knowing what to do. But, now I know.
It's trainings like this that leave an impact on my graduate experience. I'm so thankful to have been given this opportunity to become more educated and involved within my field.
Also, I had class this evening and of course, the topic was clinical work with individuals. I was happy to see my classmates and catch up with them. It's leaving me hopeful for a good semester and more opportunities to spend time with people that have similar goals and genuinely want the best for me.
ALSO, after learning what protective factors I bring to my role as a behavioral health technician, such as: listener, support, monitoring, consistent schedule - I'm doing pretty well with my goals are becoming more confident within my job. Regarding my self-care, I became aware of how many good things I'm doing that keep me in the direction that I want to go in. Including, drinking water, sleeping 8 hours, going to the pool, taking baths, listening to music, writing this blog, thinking of my mom's love for me, treating myself to coffee every now and then, spending time with family and friends, and letting myself just sit down.
Today was a lot and tomorrow will probably be even more. But, I'll handle it one minute at a time.
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