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Let's talk about self-compassion

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I'm not writing this because I want a pity party or the attention to be focused on me - I'm writing this because I'm tired. I've worked 25 hours in two days on maybe...6 hours of sleep. I have to do this to pay for rent, to pay for food and my bills. No, I'm not splurging and buying lots of expensive things, I'm dipping more and more into my savings funds because I have shit to take care of. There's days where I feel like doing everything on my to-do list and days where I just want to lay in bed all day long. I've finally come to the acceptance of having those mixed emotions. I'm busy and I have things to do. I am a motherless daughter who is a full-time employee and graduate student. Sometimes life sucks and there's nothing I can do about it. This is where Self-compassion comes in and takes care of everything, whisking away my problems. Yeah right, but we'll go with it. We'll give it a shot. Criticism can be a good thing

Procrastinating

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I've always been a procrastinator. However, I'm more aware of what my body is telling me and the signs that lead me to getting overwhelmed. I've finished my practicum and am finishing up my classes. As busy as I was this summer, I thought it would never end, but I did it. My garden is growing and producing lots of peppers, cucumbers, and tomatoes. Although we've had to make adjustments and kill a few branches, it'll be okay. I'm not too upset that some may die as we did what was necessary. They needed cages to support their stems. If they produce anything, great, if they don't -it'll be okay.  I'm so proud of my garden. Starting the cucumber and tomato plant from seeds was an amazing transformation I was able to see. I can't wait for next summer.  My homework assignments are slowly getting checked off, one by one. I'm working on focusing one task at a time. This helps decrease the amount of stress I tend to fe

Remembering

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August 3rd is my mother's birthday. It's a day we {my family} wanted to celebrate as she would have been 58 this year. So we did. Sing happy birthday - celebrate their life. It was important to you, so celebrate it. Be cheesy, they would have loved it. Give them gifts - whether it's for yourself, to someone else, or to them. You're still honoring them and making them feel loved. You know they're enjoying it and love it, even if it's a homemade card. Eat their favorite food - for her it was Mexican food and margaritas. We went to her favorite restaurant and drank with her in heaven. It'll spark memories you made with them and new ones you're sharing with them in their memory. Live in the moment - Be Mindful. Embrace the moment, focus on what you're doing right then and there, laugh if you need to or cry, or don't. Look around yourself and embrace the environment around you, notice your thoughts and try to make the best of it. They are ce

Tips on how to deal with Grief

Death is going to happen in your life. You need to understand that first, no matter what happens, there will be a point in time where you will lose a loved one. That's life.  I'm not an expert in death or grieving, however, I've learned a lot this past year from my mom's death. Some of the things I've learned and experienced will be helpful for someone experiencing similar losses.  First thing 1st, let yourself cry, scream, feel numb - whatever you need. LET IT OUT.  2. The stages of grief, do not happen in order. It's a cycle.     -   Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance - This is a key point. My therapist educated me on the 5 stages of grief and how they were initially made for those dying, not the living. Yet, as a society we've adjusted this list to fit our needs. The 5 steps of grief is a cycle and rollar coaster ride. You do not need to experience denial first, then anger, then bargaining. You can experience denial, then barg

Breaking Down

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Ask yourself this, "do you ever get upset over something so little that you immediately started crying because you were so overwhelmed with life?" If you answered "yes," then you and I are in the same boat.  Last week I was so irritated. The dishes were dirty, I was late for work, I had multiple homework assignments due, and everything kept piling up - I felt as if I couldn't catch up. I asked my boyfriend to do something while I was at work, he was playing his video game, and I became frustrated because he wasn't listening to me or didn't say the answer I wanted. He became defensive and when he did, I broke down crying. I allowed myself to become vulnerable, sit down next to him, and cry. I told him that I was just so overwhelmed because I felt as if I was never home, I had so much to do, and I couldn't keep up. That was my moment to just break down and cry. That is what I needed. Thinking back to that moment, yeah I was very frustrated and took i

Youth Mental Health First Aid

So, one of my guilty pleasures are strawberry pop-tarts and really fancy/sophisticated planners. The planner I bought for this upcoming school year has sections dedicated to how my day will go,  hour by hour, and the various notes/to-do's I need to complete. The top of each page is an inspirational quote and towards the bottom is an empty box labeled "today's gratitude." To be 100% honest, this was my biggest reason to buy this planner - I wanted to identify more reasons why I'm grateful.  Today my gratitude was "learning opportunities through my master's program." I participated in a training at Project Harmony called, Youth Mental Health First Aid. Similar to regular first aid classes, yet this one was focused on youth, their mental health disorders, and our roles to intervene during a crisis. I learned how impactful my role as a behavioral health technician can be. I have the opportunity to help youth in a crisis, identify safe resources, and

Cognitive Distortions

Normally, I would be very excited to celebrate my birthday. This year, I'm not. Everyone in my family kept asking, "what do you want to do for your birthday?" and "what do you want for your birthday?" I would simply reply, "I don't know," and "nothing." The only thing I wanted for my birthday this year was my mom - but, that's not going to happen.  Thus, I didn't plan anything to celebrate, I just let other people do it for me. It wasn't until I went to my therapist where I discussed this with her. Honestly, therapy sucks, it brings me back to reality and I hate it (al though it proves that I'm overthinking majority of the time , I'm really thankful for it). We talked about how my mom is still with me, she would want me to celebrate with my family and friends and as much as it sucks she's not here, she's with me everyday.  Note*  It's easier to say that than to actually believe it.  I know she is wi